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20 September, 2000

This is just a piddling update, to give me (Andrew) a chance to rant. Barry, I hope you enjoy this one.

Here is more telephone saga. AT&T, after promising in August to forward calls to me, after losing all recollection of my having requested service, after my spending the best part of a day on international calls trying to remedy the situation, after countless tears of frustration, has e-mailed me back the following information:

"the ability to have a number attached to the call forwarding platform is contingent on the full national of that number (NPA - NXX - XXXX).  The international dialing plan, being constructed of international and country codes is not allowed off the national platform as the number sequence is not defined and contains a digit value over the platform parameters, therefore, can not be accomplished.  That is just the switch restrictions, I couldn't ponder all the billing issues that would also stem from this request."

Which, in English, means "we can't do it either."

Yesterday, Tuesday, a friend of mine (the aforementioned Barry) e-mailed me the following:

"It is NOT impossible to forward calls from the US to France.  Here at Comsun, when I was in Italy, I had one line forwarded to my aunt's house in Italy. If you need me to attach your line to my system and have the calls forwarded to you, I would be happy to do that.  It would be the cost of a business line, which is a bit more expensive, but not much because I have Centrex, some sort of package deal from USQwest.

So: voila, it is possible to forward calls to France, only you have to have a line with call forwarding and program it yourself. If only the representatives from US West had thought of that in August!

So, as it stands, I'll have calls here beginning next Monday, barring further surprises (which wouldn't even be that), from 303-652-2752, with 7-cents-a-minute long distance from iPhoneBill.com.

And that is just part one. Today, I spent an hour and a half at France Telecom to find out why I don't have voice messaging here. The reason is because in my part of town it turns out not to be possible. They now discover. So I have to buy a phone and fax and answering machine in one, from them, for $350. And, of course, they can't give me a break on the subscription rate, despite the fact that they can't provide me with the services they promised. I wish I could speak French.

Furthermore, I can't open a bank account until I have a bill from France Telecom. Their first bill will be in the second week of October. So, it's strictly a cash economy. I have to withdraw money from ATM's to buy a car, get insurance, etc. etc.

I am beginning to take a form of grim amusement from all of this. I am learning to appreciate the things I have, like a bottle of wine, and not to worry about the things I don't have, like voice messaging. I am seriously contemplating ditching the whole high-tetch (what they call it here) thing, and pursuing art seriously. In oil painting, the technology hasn't seriously changed in 500 years. There's a lot to be said for that.

If I amuse you half as much as I amuse myself in writing this, it will be worth it. Finally, Gia and I went to a Cuban bar in Cannes la Bocca, the part of town in which we live, last night. I ordered a B52, which is a powerful shot, on fire, of Kahlua and other assorted liqueurs. For some reason, I find it vastly amusing that instead of just saying B52, a quintessentially American word, they call it a Bay Sankon Duh.